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Therapist Uncensored Podcast

Ann Kelley PhD & Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP

80
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Therapist Uncensored Podcast

Therapist Uncensored Podcast

Ann Kelley PhD & Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP

80
Followers
293
Plays
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About Us

For any life-long learners, curious skeptics, and therapy-junkies who want a little science with their fluff. Psychotherapists from Austin Texas speaking freely on life, love, sex, and the things that matter. Candid unscripted conversations rooted in attachment and relational science will unpack how to improve your relationships with others and more deeply understand what makes you and those you love emotionally tick. So whether you just want to peek behind the therapist notepad, deepen your EQ, or just have fun, dive in with co-hosts Dr. Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott and their guest experts. Find us at http://www.www.therapistuncensored.com

Latest Episodes

Brain Science & Communication

Podcast about patterns impeding couples communication. We educate you about your brain and strategies for avoiding or moving out of conflict.

32 MIN2016 AUG 8
Comments
Brain Science & Communication

TU02: Brain Science 101: How Understanding Your Brain Can Improve Your Relationship

IN THIS EPISODE: Brain Science101: How Understanding Your Brain Can Improve Your Relationships Show Notes * This episode offers a foundation for future episodes. This is key to understanding the relational brain so that you can use that information to help build secure relationships. * Everyone has security in them or the capacity for it, no matter what background you show up with * There are three specific structures that affect our sense of well-being * The prefrontal cortex – the front of the brain. * This is where we want to live in – it is our most mature, “adult” flexible self * If our lights are on here, we can be our best selves. We will be compassionate, be able to perspective take from other people’s positions, and function more like the grown ups we mean to be * This works slower and needs more time to respond. It is a challenge especially if you have a rough or neglected history * The hippocampus * This modulates memory, and the autobiographical narrative of ourselv...

-1 s2016 AUG 15
Comments
TU02: Brain Science 101: How Understanding Your Brain Can Improve Your Relationship

TU03: Different Sex Drives: Are We Screwed?

IN THIS EPISODE: Unequal Sexual Desire, Podcast Episode 3 of Therapist Uncensored Show Notes * Understanding sexuality, emotions and sexual desire in long-term relationships can help keep the fires burning and conflict – or drift – at bay. * Unequal desire is normal, but the most important part of a sexual relationship is the ability to communicate about it in a safe, unshaming way. At times unequal desire may be connected to the different way sexuality is experienced in our partner’s body. If this difference does exist and is misperceived, couples can often start believing that something is wrong with themselves or the relationship. This misperception alone can be a huge source of diminishing returns for sexuality and relationships. * The rule is variability – speaking in gendered terms is not our aim – but recognizing the differences in sex drives, sex roles and physiology can be useful. * Some people do not feel desire until they are stimulated. * It can help to start playin...

43 MIN2016 AUG 22
Comments
TU03: Different Sex Drives: Are We Screwed?

TU04: A Simple Technique to Reduce Stress and Worry: Mindful Awareness Practice in Action

Tweet

-1 s2016 AUG 29
Comments
TU04: A Simple Technique to Reduce Stress and Worry: Mindful Awareness Practice in Action

TU05: How Attachment Impacts Adult Relationships: Attachment 101 Part 1

IN THIS EPISODE: Attachment 101 Show Notes Secure relationships are what we are shooting for, with ourself and with close others. Secure relating is connected to neural integration and road maps we have internalized from our childhood. The capacity for security is within all of us no matter our histories. * Even if we did not get security as a child, we can develop into it as an adult. Earned Secure – Dan Siegel There are different types of security and insecurity, and we discuss it on a continuum where we all can relate to the different modes of relating rather than only using separate, distinct quadrants. This is an important point of these episodes so that we aren’t trying to categorize or diagnose anyone in particular but we are able to use the concepts to improve our relationships: Attachment Styles * Avoidant/Dismissive is a kind of organized insecurity that deactivates and by-passes distress. While here, we unconsciously need attachment, but we often do not perceive or have...

33 MIN2016 SEP 9
Comments
TU05: How Attachment Impacts Adult Relationships: Attachment 101 Part 1

TU06: How Attachment Impacts Adult Relationships (continued) Part 2: Attachment 102 Part 2

IN THIS EPISODE: Attachment 102 Show Notes Secure adult relationships are what we are shooting for, with ourself and with close others. Secure relating is connected to neural integration and road maps we have internalized from our childhood. The capacity for security is within all of us no matter our histories. * Even if we did not get security as a child, we can develop into it as an adult.Earned Secure – Dan Siegel There are different types of security and insecurity, and we discuss it on a continuum where we all can relate to the different modes of relating rather than only using separate, distinct quadrants. This is an important point of these episodes so that we aren’t trying to categorize or diagnose anyone in particular but we are able to use the concepts to improve our relationships: * Avoidant/Dismissive is a kind of organized insecurity that deactivates and by-passes distress. While here, we unconsciously need attachment, but we often do not perceive or have difficulty e...

-1 s2016 SEP 9
Comments
TU06: How Attachment Impacts Adult Relationships (continued) Part 2: Attachment 102 Part 2

TU07: What is Group Therapy and 5 Reasons You Should Try It

IN THIS EPISODE: Episode 7: What is Group Therapy and 5 Reasons You Should Try It Show Notes * Group therapy is often stereotyped and definitely overlooked as a way to deal with challenges in your life, this episode goes into this is a fun way * It offers a chance to experiment with real emotions and aspects of your life. * It helps you notice issues and habitual patterns in your life * You can try different responses and different behaviors in group that you might not feel comfortable doing in your everyday life and relationships. * The other people in the group can offer a variety of different views and perspectives to help you work through things. * You can say things honestly to others with the knowledge that everyone will return next week, and you can continue to work through difficulties. * Group provides you with a sense of community and belonging. It can really help with issues of social isolation. * Group can provide stability that is not always present in personal life. * ...

-1 s2016 SEP 19
Comments
TU07: What is Group Therapy and 5 Reasons You Should Try It

TU08: Understanding Emotional Triggers: Why Your Buttons Get Pushed and What To Do About It

IN THIS EPISODE: Show Notes – Therapist Uncensored Episode 8: Understanding Emotional Triggers: Why Your Buttons Get Pushed and What to Do About It Excerpt: Therapists explain the neuroscience behind emotional over-reactivity. The term triggers has been co-opted by social media and teens to mean having big feelings, but “trigger” is originally an important psychodynamic term related to trauma. In this episode we discuss the neurobiology behind the experience of being triggered. The channel is right but the volume it too high.It occurs when we feel something stronger than we can understand. Neurobiologically speaking, we are having an implicit memory. Amygdala oriented instead of hippocampal oriented. We talk about the different kinds of trauma that can create triggers. We discuss implicit versus explicit memory and why it’s good to sort this out in relationships, and how we get in all kinds of trouble misattributing implicit memory to current situations. Is it LIVE or is it MEMO...

-1 s2016 SEP 28
Comments
TU08: Understanding Emotional Triggers: Why Your Buttons Get Pushed and What To Do About It

TU09: Minding Your Relationship: Three Mindfulness Exercises to Practice With Your Partner

IN THIS EPISODE: Episode 9: Minding Your Relationship: Three Mindfulness Exercises to Practice With Your Partner Show Notes We often stop really seeing and hearing our significant other, so mindfulness in your relationship is a key free resource to add spark and life. Instead of relying on who we think our partner is based on history, we learn to see them anew and get better at connecting without a ton of words. Learn what mindfulness is and the difference between meditation and mindful awareness practices. First Mindfulness Exercise Turn off the electronics and find a few minutes to give undivided attention to your partner (or child, or parent). Find something you haven’t noticed before and relay that, in exquisite detail, to your significant other. The brain is an anticipation machine, so getting it to slow down and see a familiar face with new eyes is not natural for grown-ups, yet that is exactly how to fall in love all over again, feel sexy, or rediscover the changing being in...

24 MIN2016 OCT 5
Comments
TU09: Minding Your Relationship: Three Mindfulness Exercises to Practice With Your Partner

TU10: The 7 Circuits of Emotion: What Animals Can Teach Us about Human Relating

IN THIS EPISODE: Show Notes Episode 10 The 7 Circuits of Emotion and What Animals Can Teach Us about Human Relating Join our email list at www.therapistuncensored.com to access our private online community supporting the dissemination of the relational sciences to support healthy connections and relationships around the world! Jaak Panksepp has identified 7 universal, cross-species circuits of emotionthat can be located deep within the brain reliably in primates with neocortex functioning – besides humans, this includes rats, mice, guinea pigs, cats and of course larger primates. These networks are not up in the higher cortex, so they don’t involve rational thought, they are in the hypothalamus and amygdala, the more basic security system of the mind. The 7 Basic Circuits of Emotion: SEEKING, PLAY, LUST, CARE – 4 reward circuits FEAR, PANIC/LOSS, RAGE – punishing circuits, most animals want to avoid these emotional reactions Why This Matters in Relationships Each circuit was dis...

38 MIN2016 OCT 11
Comments
TU10: The 7 Circuits of Emotion: What Animals Can Teach Us about Human Relating

Latest Episodes

Brain Science & Communication

Podcast about patterns impeding couples communication. We educate you about your brain and strategies for avoiding or moving out of conflict.

32 MIN2016 AUG 8
Comments
Brain Science & Communication

TU02: Brain Science 101: How Understanding Your Brain Can Improve Your Relationship

IN THIS EPISODE: Brain Science101: How Understanding Your Brain Can Improve Your Relationships Show Notes * This episode offers a foundation for future episodes. This is key to understanding the relational brain so that you can use that information to help build secure relationships. * Everyone has security in them or the capacity for it, no matter what background you show up with * There are three specific structures that affect our sense of well-being * The prefrontal cortex – the front of the brain. * This is where we want to live in – it is our most mature, “adult” flexible self * If our lights are on here, we can be our best selves. We will be compassionate, be able to perspective take from other people’s positions, and function more like the grown ups we mean to be * This works slower and needs more time to respond. It is a challenge especially if you have a rough or neglected history * The hippocampus * This modulates memory, and the autobiographical narrative of ourselv...

-1 s2016 AUG 15
Comments
TU02: Brain Science 101: How Understanding Your Brain Can Improve Your Relationship

TU03: Different Sex Drives: Are We Screwed?

IN THIS EPISODE: Unequal Sexual Desire, Podcast Episode 3 of Therapist Uncensored Show Notes * Understanding sexuality, emotions and sexual desire in long-term relationships can help keep the fires burning and conflict – or drift – at bay. * Unequal desire is normal, but the most important part of a sexual relationship is the ability to communicate about it in a safe, unshaming way. At times unequal desire may be connected to the different way sexuality is experienced in our partner’s body. If this difference does exist and is misperceived, couples can often start believing that something is wrong with themselves or the relationship. This misperception alone can be a huge source of diminishing returns for sexuality and relationships. * The rule is variability – speaking in gendered terms is not our aim – but recognizing the differences in sex drives, sex roles and physiology can be useful. * Some people do not feel desire until they are stimulated. * It can help to start playin...

43 MIN2016 AUG 22
Comments
TU03: Different Sex Drives: Are We Screwed?

TU04: A Simple Technique to Reduce Stress and Worry: Mindful Awareness Practice in Action

Tweet

-1 s2016 AUG 29
Comments
TU04: A Simple Technique to Reduce Stress and Worry: Mindful Awareness Practice in Action

TU05: How Attachment Impacts Adult Relationships: Attachment 101 Part 1

IN THIS EPISODE: Attachment 101 Show Notes Secure relationships are what we are shooting for, with ourself and with close others. Secure relating is connected to neural integration and road maps we have internalized from our childhood. The capacity for security is within all of us no matter our histories. * Even if we did not get security as a child, we can develop into it as an adult. Earned Secure – Dan Siegel There are different types of security and insecurity, and we discuss it on a continuum where we all can relate to the different modes of relating rather than only using separate, distinct quadrants. This is an important point of these episodes so that we aren’t trying to categorize or diagnose anyone in particular but we are able to use the concepts to improve our relationships: Attachment Styles * Avoidant/Dismissive is a kind of organized insecurity that deactivates and by-passes distress. While here, we unconsciously need attachment, but we often do not perceive or have...

33 MIN2016 SEP 9
Comments
TU05: How Attachment Impacts Adult Relationships: Attachment 101 Part 1

TU06: How Attachment Impacts Adult Relationships (continued) Part 2: Attachment 102 Part 2

IN THIS EPISODE: Attachment 102 Show Notes Secure adult relationships are what we are shooting for, with ourself and with close others. Secure relating is connected to neural integration and road maps we have internalized from our childhood. The capacity for security is within all of us no matter our histories. * Even if we did not get security as a child, we can develop into it as an adult.Earned Secure – Dan Siegel There are different types of security and insecurity, and we discuss it on a continuum where we all can relate to the different modes of relating rather than only using separate, distinct quadrants. This is an important point of these episodes so that we aren’t trying to categorize or diagnose anyone in particular but we are able to use the concepts to improve our relationships: * Avoidant/Dismissive is a kind of organized insecurity that deactivates and by-passes distress. While here, we unconsciously need attachment, but we often do not perceive or have difficulty e...

-1 s2016 SEP 9
Comments
TU06: How Attachment Impacts Adult Relationships (continued) Part 2: Attachment 102 Part 2

TU07: What is Group Therapy and 5 Reasons You Should Try It

IN THIS EPISODE: Episode 7: What is Group Therapy and 5 Reasons You Should Try It Show Notes * Group therapy is often stereotyped and definitely overlooked as a way to deal with challenges in your life, this episode goes into this is a fun way * It offers a chance to experiment with real emotions and aspects of your life. * It helps you notice issues and habitual patterns in your life * You can try different responses and different behaviors in group that you might not feel comfortable doing in your everyday life and relationships. * The other people in the group can offer a variety of different views and perspectives to help you work through things. * You can say things honestly to others with the knowledge that everyone will return next week, and you can continue to work through difficulties. * Group provides you with a sense of community and belonging. It can really help with issues of social isolation. * Group can provide stability that is not always present in personal life. * ...

-1 s2016 SEP 19
Comments
TU07: What is Group Therapy and 5 Reasons You Should Try It

TU08: Understanding Emotional Triggers: Why Your Buttons Get Pushed and What To Do About It

IN THIS EPISODE: Show Notes – Therapist Uncensored Episode 8: Understanding Emotional Triggers: Why Your Buttons Get Pushed and What to Do About It Excerpt: Therapists explain the neuroscience behind emotional over-reactivity. The term triggers has been co-opted by social media and teens to mean having big feelings, but “trigger” is originally an important psychodynamic term related to trauma. In this episode we discuss the neurobiology behind the experience of being triggered. The channel is right but the volume it too high.It occurs when we feel something stronger than we can understand. Neurobiologically speaking, we are having an implicit memory. Amygdala oriented instead of hippocampal oriented. We talk about the different kinds of trauma that can create triggers. We discuss implicit versus explicit memory and why it’s good to sort this out in relationships, and how we get in all kinds of trouble misattributing implicit memory to current situations. Is it LIVE or is it MEMO...

-1 s2016 SEP 28
Comments
TU08: Understanding Emotional Triggers: Why Your Buttons Get Pushed and What To Do About It

TU09: Minding Your Relationship: Three Mindfulness Exercises to Practice With Your Partner

IN THIS EPISODE: Episode 9: Minding Your Relationship: Three Mindfulness Exercises to Practice With Your Partner Show Notes We often stop really seeing and hearing our significant other, so mindfulness in your relationship is a key free resource to add spark and life. Instead of relying on who we think our partner is based on history, we learn to see them anew and get better at connecting without a ton of words. Learn what mindfulness is and the difference between meditation and mindful awareness practices. First Mindfulness Exercise Turn off the electronics and find a few minutes to give undivided attention to your partner (or child, or parent). Find something you haven’t noticed before and relay that, in exquisite detail, to your significant other. The brain is an anticipation machine, so getting it to slow down and see a familiar face with new eyes is not natural for grown-ups, yet that is exactly how to fall in love all over again, feel sexy, or rediscover the changing being in...

24 MIN2016 OCT 5
Comments
TU09: Minding Your Relationship: Three Mindfulness Exercises to Practice With Your Partner

TU10: The 7 Circuits of Emotion: What Animals Can Teach Us about Human Relating

IN THIS EPISODE: Show Notes Episode 10 The 7 Circuits of Emotion and What Animals Can Teach Us about Human Relating Join our email list at www.therapistuncensored.com to access our private online community supporting the dissemination of the relational sciences to support healthy connections and relationships around the world! Jaak Panksepp has identified 7 universal, cross-species circuits of emotionthat can be located deep within the brain reliably in primates with neocortex functioning – besides humans, this includes rats, mice, guinea pigs, cats and of course larger primates. These networks are not up in the higher cortex, so they don’t involve rational thought, they are in the hypothalamus and amygdala, the more basic security system of the mind. The 7 Basic Circuits of Emotion: SEEKING, PLAY, LUST, CARE – 4 reward circuits FEAR, PANIC/LOSS, RAGE – punishing circuits, most animals want to avoid these emotional reactions Why This Matters in Relationships Each circuit was dis...

38 MIN2016 OCT 11
Comments
TU10: The 7 Circuits of Emotion: What Animals Can Teach Us about Human Relating

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